Recognizing Constructive Religion: Ground Rules for Multi-Faith Dialogue at NU 1- "Tolerance, acceptance and support" 2- "Respect for ourselves and one another" 3- "No proselytizing or attempts to convert others" 4- We will let the group know if we "can't go there" 5- Responsibility 6- Confidentiality 7- Everyone is important in this group
Guidelines for Creating Healthy Interfaith Dialogue at NU and beyond
We encourage students and others at NU to use or modify these "Ground Rules for Multi-Faith Dialogue at NU," which are currently in use at our interfaith activities. They can help create a "safe space" for genuine respectful dialogue and cooperation among people of all faiths, spiritualities and paths. Prepared by Shelli Jankowski-Smith, Director of Spiritual Life, in collaboration with various University communities, these guidelines have been used at NU since 2004.
We will come with open minds, open hearts, and open spirits into this group. We will support one another as brothers and sisters, even in our differences.
We will disagree on points of faith and spirituality, that is a given. In doing so, we will neither surrender our self-hood to the group, nor will we treat any person, religion, faith system, or lack thereof, with disdain or disrespect.
While holding our own beliefs dear, and sharing them freely and honestly with others, we will never try to dissuade another from his or her faith or uncertainty in/ lack of faith, or try to bring others over to our religion. We will work to make this group a safe place for all, where we can learn and teach with no hidden agendas.
If a group activity or behavior involves a true level of discomfort for any of us, especially as relates to breaking with the tenets of our faith, we will immediately let the group know, and that limitation will be accepted absolutely.
We are responsible for our own actions, and will take responsibility for hurtful things we may say or do. We also acknowledge that we're not responsible for the actions of others, even if we feel like we are. We realize that others may inadvertently call tenets of our faith into question, without desiring to insult us or our religious beliefs, and that we can embrace such moments as opportunities for building greater understanding among ourselves.
Understanding that opening ourselves to others in discussion makes us vulnerable to one another, we will respect the private needs of one another. Our mutual trust is protected by knowing that whatever we say in the group will stay in the group.
We will each do our best to neither dominate conversation, nor to avoid sharing ourselves and our thoughts with the group. We will be willing both to talk and to listen yet, knowing that we may each go through challenging periods in our lives, we will not demand more of another member than he or she is able to offer, and will respect another's need for silence.
Recognizing Destructive Religion:
Making Safe Judgments:
The staff and chaplains at the NU Spiritual Life Center are concerned about the potential for harm to students caused by destructive religious groups, and dishonest or high pressure tactics, on our campus. Some people use the word "cults." Without attempting to define whether a group is a "cult" or not, we assert that a religious (or any other) group that practices deceptive and/or destructive behaviors does not belong on the NU campus. The NU guidelines for recognized religious groups bars certain behaviors like proselytization, harrassment, evasiveness, dishonesty, or lack of truth in advertising. Here are some of the warning signs for groups that may be harmful to your well-being:
Common Techniques of Mind Control
1- "Love Bombing"- excessive flattery or love, discouraging your doubts, instant friendship with everyone
2- Isolation or separation- suddenly everyone in your circle is a member
3- Hypnosis- heightened suggestability induced through repetition, constant chanting, etc.
4- Confession, fear and guilt- encouragement to reveal sins, loyalty maintained by threat
5- Sleep deprivation, inadequate nutrition
6- Confusion- offering new and/or complex doctrine, replacing old values with new goals and new definitions
7- Absolutism- insisting on unquestioned obedience attained by limiting independent thought or action, promises of a "new you," power, and/or guaranteed salvation.
"I think I may possibly be involved with a destructive group... what now?"
In doubt? Call on helpful campus resources!
- NU Spiritual Life Center and University Chaplains: 617-373-2728
- University Health and Counseling: 617-373-2772
- "We Care" office: 617-373-7518
Don't ever be afraid or embarrassed to just say "NO" to a person or group with which you aren't comfortable!