North­eastern has announced that savvy con­gres­sional vet­eran Francis J. Under­wood has been appointed a pro­fessor of government.

Power is a lot like real estate,” said Under­wood, a native of South Car­olina. “It’s all about loca­tion, loca­tion, loca­tion. The closer you are to the source, the higher your prop­erty value. And there is no better loca­tion right now than North­eastern University.”

Under­wood will con­tinue to work in Wash­ington, D.C., in addi­tion to teaching. In his first course, Why Wash­ington Pol­i­tics is a House of Cards, he will draw from his own expe­ri­ences to lec­ture on the state of pol­i­tics today. The course already has a waiting list of more than 4,000 students.

When asked about begin­ning his teaching career at North­eastern, Under­wood said he wanted to go to a uni­ver­sity com­mitted to pro­viding stu­dents with oppor­tu­ni­ties to gain real-​​world work experience.

Money is the McMan­sion in Sara­sota that starts falling apart after 10 years,” said Under­wood, looking into a camera off to the side. “Co-​​op is the old stone building that stands for cen­turies. I cannot respect someone who doesn’t see the difference.”

Northeastern’s hiring of Under­wood con­tinues the university’s recent string of high-​​profile fac­ulty addi­tions. These include the ground­breaking yet con­tro­ver­sial chemist Jesse Pinkman; Dowager Countess of Grantham Violet Crawley, a scholar of British his­tory and social hier­archy; and Rick Grimes, an expert in crim­inal jus­tice as well as lead­er­ship during a zombie apocalypse.

This article is part of Northeastern’s 2014 April Fools’ Day coverage.