Our baby boy is in my arms trying to settle down for a nap. From the other room, our four-year-old son is calling me to come listen to his "concert." The house is a mess, and I am running on five hours of interrupted sleep. My wife, Chris, motions that she will take William, who's finally asleep. I kiss her on the cheek, and she whispers, "Go enjoy your concert." When I go in to hear Henry play his instruments, the joy on his face and the fun we have together overcome my fatigue.

I wonder how I got so lucky—to have a wonderful life partner, as well as two incredible boys who fill our lives with laughter, learning, and joy. I can't help thinking I have a good life.

Last year, more good fortune came my way when Chris and I were given the right to marry. We're a gay couple who have been together since 1993. Though we had a commitment ceremony in 1996, we were not legally recognized as a couple until May 20, 2004, when we married in Boston's Arlington Street Church.

Our simple wedding didn't have the complicated planning or the long guest list of our commitment ceremony. But when we heard "By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you married," our elation was beyond words.

I had not believed I would have the chance to legally marry Chris in my lifetime.

Last year, I cried at times as I listened to people talk about us as though we were pariahs, as though we were going to bring down society if we were treated as equals. I was glad Henry was too young to understand what was being said; I think it would have made him sad and confused.

Even now, Massachusetts and gay marriage are a lightning rod for those who want to keep marriage exclusively heterosexual. It's difficult for me to understand how people can view me as less than equal because I happen to be in love with a woman. I still struggle with the hatred and intolerance people have for the gay community.

Just wanting to have access to the institution of marriage signals that gays are trying to build stronger families and communities. Matrimony has brought Chris and me a sense of respect and belonging. And, although we're married only under Massachusetts state law, some things are easier.

For instance, when William was born last year, both our names were on the birth certificate as his legal parents. Marriage did that for us. When Henry was born in 2000, only the birth mother could sign the birth certificate when a gay couple had a child. The other parent had to adopt the child at a later date to have legal ties to the child.

Now I don't have to worry that, if one of us is hospitalized, we could be prevented from seeing each other. That is powerful in a practical and emotional way.

Our son Henry was in the hospital when he was four months old, with a difficult diagnosis that meant prolonged treatment. One of our first thoughts was, Will the hospital let both Chris and me make decisions about Henry's care? Will we be treated like a family? Thankfully, we were at a very open hospital. But it was not always easy.

Another change: After our wedding last year, we became the Knoll-Finns. Although I was happy to share Chris's name, I didn't think about it a lot until Henry, who has always carried both our names, started to really celebrate how we were all Knoll-Finns now. He loved it. He would talk about how the Knoll-Finns were going to do this or that. Hearing him reaffirmed for me how important this marriage is for our children.

Our boys will feel the security of a family that is recognized through the simple act of a legal marriage. Although we hope the legality of our union will one day be recognized in all fifty states and by the federal government, our marriage has made me proud and given me hope that our children will have an easier time in life.

Each year with Chris is richer and fuller than the one before. We have been through tragedies and triumphs in our twelve years together, like every other couple have. We consider parenting our boys to the best of our abilities our number-one task. What's made this year more special is that we are now legally recognized as a family.

We still have a long way to go to find true equality, but this marriage is a step. We are the Knoll-Finns, and I'm grateful to Massachusetts for making it clear that we deserve to be recognized in all legal ways.

MJ Knoll-Finn is assistant dean and director of admissions at the School of Law.