The Seven Deadly Sins of Office Kitchen Etiquette

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This guest post was written by Katie Merrill, an NU and BC alum and Academic Advisor for the Honors Program at NU.

image source: izismile.com

image source: izismile.com

I am inspired to write this post based on situations I have personally experienced through the past few years.  The sins I will address occur much more frequently, I believe, than the comedic stolen sandwich violation often depicted on TV (remember the Friend’s episode when Ross is ordered to get help with anger management because of his stolen sandwich?). The office kitchen is a privilege that can be immensely important for people looking to save money on buying lunch every day. Don’t abuse it, and definitely don’t commit one of these deadly kitchen sins:

 

 

1. Bring in all the yogurts. All of them.

The office fridge is the lost land of unwanted yogurts. Every Monday people want to make up for the nutritional wrong doings of their weekend, and they bring in 12 yogurts to guide them on the path of dietary righteousness. Yogurt is obviously a healthier breakfast than the bacon, egg, and cheese they want from Dunkin’ Donuts. What happens to these poor yogurt friends however? They get lost in the abyss of the fridge, never to be consumed. By Wednesday people are back to eating their Dunkin’ delicacies, done dieting for the week, vowing next week will be better and searching the grocery flyers to see where has Chobani on sale. I once threw out a yogurt that was 11 months old. I kid you not.

2. Cook scallops in the toaster oven.

Or raw steak tips. Or raw chicken. Really anything that ever lived and breathed that has not already been cooked in your home. I had someone in my office decide he was gong to eat healthier for the week by cooking fresh meals for himself at lunch; a great idea…for someone who works from home. This guy was trying to bake bone-in chicken in our communal toaster oven on his 30-minute lunch break. Wonderful to think of, knowing my English muffin was going to be toasted in the same appliance. I have never seen an office more passive-aggressively angry than the day he cooked scallops.

3. Save your soy sauce, mustard, and ketchup packets.

I know you want to use them again, and I know you think saving them, you will feel so good about being able to come to the rescue when someone in the office cries out that their tuna sandwich is dry and they just NEED some mustard to get by. But I am telling you now- you are NEVER going to use them.  Instead, they will accumulate in drawers, on counter tops, in the butter tray in the fridge, and in your desk. Let them go. Along with the Sweet n’ Low and free napkins from the takeout you got last week. Let them all go. You will thank me in the end.

4. Use it as a space to dump Halloween candy.

Or Christmas candy. Or Easter, Hanukah, Passover, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, your Birthday, etc. candy. After big holidays or events, the office kitchen becomes a dumping ground for all the things people don’t want in their own houses. I can remember dreading the week after Halloween at one office I worked at. The amount of candy that would arrive at work and be heaped into a pile in the kitchen could stock a movie theater. Ultimately, it just became a place for people to eat each other’s sweets. The same people who would come in with all their children’s picked over treats would be eating from the pile contributed by their colleague. Just say no. We don’t want your second-hand confections any more than you do.

5. Use any body and everybody’s salad dressing.

If it’s not yours, please ask. Do you remember going to the store and buying that? Then it’s probably not yours and you should ask. Nothing is as irritating as bringing out your salad at lunch only to reach for your dressing and realize that it is empty and your delicious lunch is now going to be just a pile of lettuce.

6. Think it’s okay for your dishes to sit in the sink overnight.

The sink has an expiration date and your mother/spouse/roommate is not coming by anytime soon to clean out your leftover pasta salad from your Rubbermaid container, so please do it yourself. You should do it right after eating, but on particularly busy days please do it before you leave that night.

7. Leaving Leftovers.

Did you know that 99% of food does not get better with age? Your mom’s lasagna will not be better if you leave it over the weekend. In fact, it will probably make you sick if you try to eat it, and then you will have to take a sick day, and then the office will get backed up with work…just don’t do it. The mold I have seen, the smells I have smelled, I’ve dealt with horrors no man, woman, or child should have to see.

The office kitchen is a shared space for grown-ups- act like one and your office mates will be eternally grateful. Bon Appetit!

Katie is an Academic Advisor for the Honors Program at Northeastern University. She studied art history as an undergraduate in Boston, and received her Masters degree in College Student Development and Counseling from the Bouve College of Health Sciences at Northeastern University. She likes to run and cook in her free time. 

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